Bitching

I am just all around mad. Mad at this whole fucking situation! I see posts on FaceBook about hwo people ar sick of being sick. You have a cold, its just uncomfortable. I used to bitch about having colds and now it seems so so dumb. There is so much else that could go wrong. Even now i feel bitching about my cancer is dumb because people have way worse cancer then I do.
I also feel so so jealous of the people just bitching about a cold. I wish thats all I had. Also my roommates have pissed me off, bitching about the TV being on in the middle of the day. 1) Its so quite they cant fucking hear it 2) Im sorry I had surgery and being able to move is very very hard 3) I just fought with insuance companies for 4 hours, 3)I deserve to eat my burrito and watch law and order SVU to get out of my own hell, for an hour.
I am mad at my body for betraying me. I have to now go though all this stuff i never wanted to even think about. I have to make decision after decision.  I am so tired. to much to do. Trying to figure out what I have to do. There is more I have to get doen before I can start Chemo. I dont evern know where to start. ucking insurance, why the hell do I have to deal with this while Im sick?


My path remport came back from my last surgery, they went in a cleared the margins of my first surgery and took 8 lymph nodes. Out of the 8 only 1 had cancer. Which is great news but I am still so sore. Now I have to worry about freezing embryos, if I want a mastectomy ect.